Surrogacy for single dads

Brilliant Beginnings is a longstanding champion of single dads, supporting them since our launch in 2013. Our sibling organisation NGA Law also won the case against the government which changed the law for single parents in 2016, and represented the very first single dad to get a parental order in 2019.

What are my options for having a family as a single dad?

You may be considering surrogacy alongside other options like adoption and co-parenting. With surrogacy, you will have a genetic connection with your child, care for him or her from birth, and will not share parenting with anyone else.  It is sensible to take your time and be honest with yourself about your preferences and what you want your family to look like.

Is it fair for a single dad to conceive a child without a mother?  Will my child be bullied?

This is a question many single dads think about. Research into the long-term outcomes for children with single dad parents is still in its early stages, but surrogacy research on a range of family forms has shown that what matters to children is the quality of their parental relationships rather than the number or gender of their parents. Read more about research on surrogacy and non-traditional families.

It is important to be prepared to talk to your child about how they came into the world, to make sure that they have a positive sense of identity, and if possible to keep a connection with your surrogate and any egg donor.  You will also need to be prepared to talk to others, both those in your family and friends support network and people in the wider world.

How does surrogacy work for single dads?

If you decide to build your family through surrogacy, you will need to think about who will provide the eggs to conceive your child (unless you are transgender and able to provide your own eggs), as well as who will be your surrogate. 

You can either create embryos with donated eggs at a fertility clinic which are then transferred to a gestational surrogate, or you can match with a traditional surrogate who will provide eggs as well as carrying your child.  It is important to consider what is right for you, as well as the long term implications for your child. What information is available to your child about any separate egg donor will vary depending on whether you conceive in the UK or overseas.

Should I stay in the UK or go overseas for surrogacy?

This is one of the most important early questions to explore, although do bear in mind that if you are considering traditional surrogacy this is generally only available in the UK.  About half the UK parents who conceive through surrogacy do so in the UK and the others go overseas (mainly to the USA).  The right decision for you will depend on your timescale, budget, attitude to risk and the kind of surrogacy journey you are hoping for.